Adventures in Body Image

I have decided today that I am done being fat. I know we have all come to some conclusion that over time we have heard ourselves make over and over and its the same but never with results so this is where and why I have decided to blog. In my imaginary world of the Internet where someone somewhere will be reading through my daily battles I imagine I am accountable to others that will count on me to lose the weight. Its a necessary lie to myself to provoke motivation.

I have no delusion within myself that I am the only woman setting out in this new year to lose weight and be a better image of myself..... There are so many areas that ones weight effects ones lifestyle and obvious dating choices but it had to come down to me and my desire. I was never what I thought to be a fat girl, in fact I always had a beautiful body and well, the ability to eat whatever the hell I wanted whenever the hell I wanted! Unfortunately 3 kids later and almost 30 that opportunity to indulge and not bulge has long since sailed from this belly's port!

My Goal you might ask?..... Right now this very second I am weighing in at a whopping 186! Yes ladies and gentlemen 186! I weighed 156 - 9 months preggo with my second child! So I want to lose 50 lbs! That would leave me at 136...... My basic simple plan as of this instant is to not eat out and add exercise to my daily routine! Sounds simple but not really I hope post that I can do more when the spirit of the whole beauty and hope of being healthier kicks in!!!!!!! I mean I would like to fall in love and not hide in the dark shadows of a bedroom to get naked so that my body wouldn't be seen. I want to play with my kids and be healthy! I want to feel pretty...

All of those above things mentioned are difficult to do when you feel your ass shake at every slight move! I sneeze and pray no one saw everything I felt shake really shake..... So to all my imaginary readers that I am keeping myself accountable to, Tomorrow is my first day to start, to start this sick, emotional and physical Battle within myself as healthy as I can! Hope the rides not too bumpy!